This is the beginning of a list of things about raising children that I have learnt in my (so far) three and a half years of parenting...
- Kiss your sleep-ins good bye. Not even on Sunday will you get the chance to hit snooze and roll over, in fact you might as well throw out the alarm clock as you will never need it again (or at least until the kids are teenagers). Each morning you will either be jolted awake by a baby screaming for a feed or trampled on as the kids climb over you all giggles and farts when the sun is just barely rising.
- Just because you're all up early doesn't mean you will get anywhere on time. There is always a last minute clothing change or someone forgot to pack the nappies, or the 3 year old decides they need to poo just when you're about ready to leave and you end up standing there in the bathroom telling them to "squeeze" it out faster!
- When the odd chance comes around when the parents finally have a quiet night to themselves, when the kids are sound asleep and there is nothing on the box. You can both go to bed and agree that there is only one thing on your minds - SLEEP!
- All the parenting books tell you what items to pack for your baby when you go on outings. They all forget to mention that you should also pack a spare set of clothes for yourself!
- Young kids seem to have a fascination with sauce. Don't scrunch up your face when they ask to put tomato sauce on their cauliflower, just go with it, add sauce to everything and you'll be amazed at what your child will eat!
- Remember that carpet bag that Mary Poppins had? This is what your handbag will become, you'll be amazed at the things you will find at the bottom of it. What was once a nice little storage for you purse and lippy is now home to spare dummies, a plastic dinosaur and an odd sock. I suggest that you allocate a special pocket in your handbag just for your keys. If you just throw them in anywhere than you'll never find them again.
- In the world of parenting, one would be forgiven for thinking that silence is golden. But think again, unless the kids are sleeping, silence is never a good sign. If you EVER experience silence than you should go and see what those little
gremlinschildren are up to. You are likely to find poo smeared on the walls, or your red lippy rubbed into the carpet!
- We all know that we need to watch our language around the little ones, but you can guarantee that the one time you slip up and that four-letter word comes tumbling out your mouth, will be the one time that your darling is around to hear it - than repeat it a thousand times to family, friends and strangers.
- When you become a parent you lose the right to claim anything as yours. Everything is shared and you will never be alone again, don't bother closing the toilet door, they will find you!
- Parenting can be a tough gig, we get that, but, when you have kids, it doesn't matter how tough your day was, they always give you a reason to smile!